i've mentioned that i had been spending a lot of time thinking about the past recently. today my thoughts have wandered even farther back. i checked my email this morning and found an email from a high school classmate. katie, a woman i grew up with and who i can't remember not knowing, was killed in a car crash yesterday. she was a single mother of three and had started nursing school a few weeks ago. honestly, at this point, i have no idea where to even begin processing margaret and katie's deaths. they were both so young.
emotions are such powerful things. removing yourself from them makes sad or difficult times much easier to deal with; however, experiencing them seems to not necessarily be a bad thing. i will be the first to admit that in my last relationship, i fell hard, and this is probably what made the separation (emotionally) so hard when it was over. if i think about it for too long, it still brings me to tears. i didn't know i was capable of liking someone that much. emotions seem to be a good thing in that both the good and the bad can teach you so much about yourself--how you deal with joy, sorrow, loss, anger, whatever. i'm not sure i've necessarily dealt with all those things well in my life, but i can say i'm learning a lot and hopefully dealing with them better now than i did before.
i'm sad i haven't kept in better touch with people. its definitely something i need to make a better effort to do. though its not possible to keep in touch with everyone, i'm realizing i at least need to remember, and express gratitude, more often for all the friends i've made and people i've met along the way who have made my experiences as rich as they have been.
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