i won't be affected by the current economy crisis

why? because i'm a grad student and according to phd comics's handy decision chart, i will be remaining in the protective academic cocoon.

check out the comic strip here

exhausting but exhilarating

a couple weeks ago i was talking to my friend rory and told him that i had signed up for a half-ironman to distract myself, and his response to my comment was something to the effect of 'oh, so you mean you signed up for it so you have lots of time on the bike to think about things?' my response to that was, hm, oops, you've definitely got a point.

my workout yesterday was awesome. we did 109 miles in six hours. i thought we were only going to be doing six 20' intervals at race pace, but it turned out we were doing eight. so my six hour ride was actually about two hours of warm up and four hours of intervals at a pace that was roughly between olympic and half-ironman distance paces. in other words, it was fast. it was really fast. and when we were done riding, we ran about 4.75 miles. it was hot. i felt fine when i got off the bike, but about a mile into the run i started to feel really tired. i wasn't running with a watch so i had no idea how fast or slow i was running. all i knew was that i felt like i was crawling. when i got done and found out how far we'd gone in how much time though, i realized that i had been running at an 8 something per mile pace and decided i should be okay for next weekend (if not more than okay). this was probably the hardest workout i've done in a couple years. laying on the cold tile floor at my friends' house afterward felt like heaven.

i just finished another book. this one was called surprised by god and it was written by a woman named danya ruttenberg. she was raised a cultural jew, became an atheist at age 13, studied philosophy and religion in college and then in her early 30s became a rabbi. the book is about her spiritual maturation. through the first half or so of the book i would barely get through a couple pages before i'd stop and, in my head, say 'YES! that is exactly i have/am experiencing/struggling with/etc.' she spends quite a bit of time talking about what is in essence meshing worlds--friends, family, lifestyle from all parts of one's life. in my opinion at least, this extends beyond just one's religious beliefs. for a few years i think i struggled with this from a religious perspective, but for even longer, i've struggled with it from the perspective of an athlete. honestly, i don't feel like i've made any progress from where i started my freshman year in college. sometimes, i really think it would be fun to go out more. i don't though because my experiences have taught me that getting up and going riding or running with people (or by myself) is more fun for me. i'm still torn over that decision most weekends, then i get up and do something like i did yesterday morning though and i feel empowered...though just as exhausted as if i had stayed up until the wee hours hanging out, if not more so.

what i'm doing when i graduate

i'm going to work for these guys and study human biomechanics AND physiology...oh, and running.

born to run

music

its amazing how listening to music can completely change my mood. i don't mean changing it from a good mood or a bad mood either. its something more subtle. it can make me go from bored to interested, if that makes sense. i'm in the process of pulling out all my data for some research i need to write a paper on, and its gorgeous outside. i'd really just rather be out there. that said, the right music playing on my ipod can get me back in the working groove, which is a good thing when i'm at work.

this week is flying by, which is good because i'm really excited for the weekend. training is getting easier as the workouts are getting harder. this saturday some friends and i are doing a six hour ride (with intervals) followed by a 5 mile run and then i'll do a long run on sunday morning. i mentioned awhile back that i signed up for this half-ironman in an effort to sort of get my life back. i knew i enjoyed training and figured that if i gave myself something to train for it would get me out of the funk i was in. i wasn't really sure that it was working for a bit, but in the past week or so i have found myself really glad i gave myself that race goal. it has made me go through the motions until i rediscovered (or maybe just reminded me) why i enjoy all things endurance. the training has also given me a weekend social outlet with others who are just as crazy and given me the time and space to sort out things in my head that needed some sorting.

running feels great. i'm finding that i need to hold myself back in terms of distance right now. since i didn't run regularly over the summer, i want to avoid ramping the mileage up too fast, so i've been slowly building up again. by the end of this week i'll be back around 40 miles/wk, which is a good starting point to build from just under 2.5 months out from dallas. i'm really enjoying being out on my bike too. i've been doing a trainer workout each week too just because of the whole daylight-work combination which sometimes gets me home a little too late to do a decent ride. i was avoiding the pool for a bit while my cough went away, but even that is going alright...just keep your fingers crossed that the hot weather continues so we don't have to wear wetsuits next weekend for the race!

police

i saw the funniest thing on the way to class this morning. there was a cop on campus standing at the corner of speedway and 24th street trying to direct traffic, mostly pedestrian traffic. she kept telling people to get on the sidewalk and cross the street in the crosswalk. i wanted to stop and say to her 'lady, do you have any idea what you're trying to do? just look at the number of people walking through this intersection and then look at the size of the sidewalk.' there is clearly not enough space to handle the volume of pedestrian traffic that goes through that intersection on a given school day. it would be much easier to close off the roads to cars and let people walk/bike/etc. i almost felt sympathy for the cop, but then i didn't...because the whole effort was just silly.

say what you need say

these are the lyrics to the song i happen to have been listening to a lot lately. sometimes i listen to songs just because i like the sound of them without actually paying much attention to what they're saying. a friend called me on this a few years ago and i started paying more attention. i started listening to this song because i liked the sound, but then i found that the lyrics actually provided some wisdom.

in the last five (or more) years, i think i have been slowly learning that i tend to bottle things up--both positive and negative. running gets most pent up anything out of my system, but not every problem or success can be solved or celebrated alone. it is at that point that words seem to come in handy though they frequently come out in random orders and don't adequately express my opinion. for example, for me to write political commentary on this blog would be fruitless. i just don't know where to begin with my dislike of half of a particular party's presidential ticket...but i digress.

the lyrics apply more on a personal level, in my opinion, of expressing oneself and the frustration associated with not being able to. for your reading pleasure 'say what you need to say' by john mayer (and yes, i listen to pop music sometimes):

Take all of your wasted honor
Every little past frustration
Take all of your so-called problems
Better put them in quotations

Say what you need to say...

Walking like a one man army
Fighting with the shadows in your head
Living out the same old moment
Knowing you’d be better off instead
If you could only

Say what you need to say...

Have no fear for giving in
Have no fear for giving over
You better know that in the end
It’s better to say too much
Than never to say what you need to say again

Even if your hands are shaking
And your faith is broken
Even as the eyes are closing
Do it with a heart wide open

Say what you need to say...

the kite runner

i finished the book this afternoon when i got home from work. i was a little concerned a few days ago that i wasn't going to finish it. i got bored somewhere in the first half of the book, but i decided to keep reading anyways. while i don't think i will read it again, it is very well written and the story will suck you in if you let it.

in completely unrelated news, i did something i didn't think would happen anytime soon. i got the new $150k camera system in my lab up and running. i'm not collecting data yet, and won't be until after i write a paper about my other data, but i'm happy to report that i got it working...which means now i have something for my undergrad to do. soon we will be through the training phase and then i can set him lose with some data.

i was sitting in the computer lab last night finishing up a problem set that was due earlier today while instant messaging with my friend matt. i told him that i felt at home sitting in the computer science (cs) lab working though i was not exactly a cs type. he informed me i was in denial and wrote me the following code to prove it:

if(Patricia.IsInDenial)
{
Matt.Intervention(Patricia);
}
else
{
Patricia.EatDeliciousCake();
}

let's suffice it to say that i didn't get to eat delicious cake, but i can tell you how to write that code in another computing language. point matt.

its amazing what the passage of time can do. or maybe its amazing how distractions can make time pass so quickly. its been just over a month since we finished the bike ride to alaska, but it feels like longer. i don't see anyone from the trip on a regular basis, though i run into people randomly on campus every couple days. the friend i was studying with last night asked at one point if i thought i had finally started to decompress from the summer (or if i was at least slightly less angry about the whole experience). i laughed. i'm not exactly an angry or pessimistic person, so being too bent out of shape about the whole thing for any extended length of time is kind of against my nature.

i mentioned recently that i think things happen for a reason, and i think things happened this summer the way they did for a reason. lately, i'll be doing something completely random and one of those reasons will pop into my head. i think many (most?) of those insights have had something to do with being aware of the presence or absence of someone in my life. namely though they are making me more and more grateful for presence of my family and friends.

sunrise

the following is from a friend's blog:

"Knowing someone well is a privilege. Consider it, someone lets you into their world and shares with you the thoughts and feelings that drives their soul. It’s a pretty spectacular journey to say the least. And it’s even better when you come to know that person better, from the inside out, and you realize they form goodness. It’s simply awesome. To see someone not because of the qualities outside or the accomplishments they champion, but rather to view that person from a perspective only your internal senses can pick up. That connection serves to jump start all of our mortal senses to a new plane. A playing field where you actually can experience the sensation of toes tingling and hearts racing at the mere perception of that someone. Those perceptions, those sensations, seem to be from a different realm, a more hallowed and exclusive place of clarity. It’s a good thing."

i suppose there are only a few people in life you really get to know THAT well, and i feel pretty blessed to have people in my life for whom love has only grown over time. i think i'm also very fortunate to have a group of friends who will give me crap when that's what i need to be given but still love me despite my faults.

i had a pretty rough night last night. i was exhausted and feeling slightly under the weather in the afternoon, so i went to bed pretty early. i just lay there and tossed and turned with my mind replaying things over and over again before i finally fell asleep. it wasn't restful at all really, but i still jumped out of bed when my alarm went off at 5:45a this morning so i could go ride with some friends. i guess i just wanted to be up.

we had wheels on the road by 7:15a. the sun wasn't quite up yet, but the sky was light enough. five miles or so into the ride and the sun appeared. i haven't seen a sunrise like this in awhile, and it was beautiful. i was taught from a young age (intentionally or not i don't know) that sitting down with a cup of tea can solve basically every problem, and i've had a lot of tea to drink in the last couple months (a box of mixed herbal teas now resides in my desk drawer at work). this morning, however, i was reminded that a lot of rest and a beautiful sunrise can work just as well.

ladera repeats

i would not recommend doing them on a tri bike...especially one that has a gear combination like mine. you might just fall over. for those who aren't familiar, ladera = rather sizable (short but steep) hill. fortunately, i didn't fall over, but there was one point on the first repeat that i thought i was going to. next time, i'll bring a different bike to do that workout.

i decided to take a religion class for fun on wednesday evening and i went for the first time last night. i was debating whether or not i should go not wanting to add more stuff to my schedule, but in the end i decided it wouldn't hurt to go once and see what it was like. within 15 minutes of being there though i was glad i went. the teacher, who is actually also a phd student at ut, is very good. he knows his stuff, and he also seems to know how to connect with his audience (university age folks). i don't remember exactly what we were talking about, but at one point he gave an example that went something like this: you know when your alarm clock goes off in the morning and you get up and turn it off...but then your bed says 'i love you' and you respond (with open arms) 'i love you too' and crawl back under the covers. i (and most of the other students) just about fell off my chair laughing as i listened to him animatedly share the example. i knew exactly what he was talking about because yesterday morning i had that exact conversation with my bed and crawled back under my covers for another 15 minutes after shutting off my alarm.

and now for something completely different: two of my roommates just got engaged. actually, i found out this morning, they got engaged five weeks ago, but they just told the rest of us two nights ago. they're getting married in the next few days i think because we're having a bachelorette party for emily this evening after dinner. in some circles of my friends, if people told me they were getting married six months after starting to date, i probably wouldn't blink. however, this couple isn't in one of those circles, so i was really surprised when they told me. they both seem really happy and excited (and a bit scared) about it, which is always good. i'm not sure we've had a married couple in the house before so it should be interesting!

pistachio pudding

yes, the color is a little odd, but don't be put off by it. it tastes delicious on a hot day after a long workout. i went out for a 4.75 hour ride this morning and followed it up with a 3 mile run. i did the ride continuously, which was a nice change from what was happening this summer on my adventure, on 1.5 big bottles of water, 1 bottle of gatorade and half a peanut butter sandwich. i thought that after stopping every 20 miles it would be hard for me to get back in the habit of not stopping that frequently. turns out i was wrong.

there was a headwind the whole second half of the ride and the heat kept climbing. i'm enjoying the heat, but i regularly find myself one step behind in the fluids department and constantly craving salt. that and i know i'm not getting enough calories when i go out for long workouts. these problems are quickly bringing to light some of the things missing from life, particularly gels and Perpetuem.

speaking of cravings, i've found that when i crave certain things, there is usually a reason for it. for example, when i start craving sweets, its generally because i'm not getting enough protein. i'm sure my body was left with all sorts of nutritional deficiencies this summer, but i'm eating better now. the latest craving though has been cheese. i did some research the other day and found out this is generally associated with the need for protein, fat, vitamin b12 and/or calcium. increasing the milk intake (hence pistachio pudding) has made the craving go away, but i hadn't thought of vitamin b12. i probably had about a week's worth of my rda in the last couple months, though (maybe not ironically) i've had an affinity towards spinach (good source of vitamin b12) ever since finishing the ride. its funny how your body works.

in case you were concerned about how austin did with respect to ike, don't worry. the sky to the east of us was overcast yesterday afternoon, but that was the worst of it. we didn't get rain or thunderstorms though we were looking forward to the cooler weather the former in particular would have brought. my house had it's cleanup day yesterday actually, and in anticipation of rain, all of the projects were done inside the house, so i spent the whole day installing linoleum (we have a new kitchen floor now!). the one thing the storm did bring to austin was humidity. we were dripping with sweat all day. when i went for my long run last night, i overheard someone say that it was 95 degrees...at 7:30p, and honestly, i didn't know it was possible to sweat as much as i had been all day and still sweat during my run. i'll be keeping my eyes peeled to see how they're asking people to get involved with recovery efforts for where the storm did hit though. galveston looks pretty bad from all the pictures i've seen.

yIKEs!

apparently the world might end in the next day or two. you know how i know that? ut postponed the football game. no, there will not be football in austin this weekend. i am currently taking this as a sign that i'm not yet supposed to see a ut football game in person. a couple of my roommates and i had tickets to this particular game, which was supposed to be my first.

fortunately, my other roommates have deemed all of this reason to celebrate. the "older" ladies in the house (aka the female grad students) have decided to have a few glasses (or bottles) of wine on the porch while watching the rain. my only concern about this plan of attack is with regards to the rain. we're so far inland, i will be interested to see how badly we actually get hit.

last night, i finished Brida, paulo coehlo's latest book about an irish girl searching for knowledge and her soul mate who seems to have trouble committing to things. ironic, yeah? i wouldn't consider myself a particularly religious person as far as subscribing to a particular one, though religion fascinates me and i enjoy seeing different religious ceremonies/church services/etc. i do believe things happen for a reason and that people come into and out of one's life to teach us things. i first saw this book (brida) in the amsterdam airport on my way back to the us in may and thought it looked intriguing. i spent a lot of time this summer wanting to get my hands on a copy, but when i looked at a bookstore in laramie, they didn't have it. later when i looked in other stores i realized that the book was only available in hardback, or in other words, it was more expensive than my grad student income was interested in. so, i waited until i got back to ut and could take it out of the library.

brida, it turns out, is a witch, and the story relates her coming into that knowledge. while i'm not sure i'm exactly a witch (though i'm sure i have my moments), some of the experiences discussed in the book, i could relate to. in one moment in particular, she realizes that at some point every person, regardless of whether or not he or she is a witch, will realize (1) the majesty of the world we live in, if only for a second, and (2) who exactly he or she is.

with respect to the former, i can think of two places where i have realized how beautiful my surroundings are. the first was in gombe stream national park, tanzania. its the area in which jane goodall did all her chimpanzee research. i was hiking with some of my traveling companions, and i remember being overwhelmed by everything around me. i also remember knowing exactly who i was and what i liked. it was just a moment and then it was gone.

the reason that i bring this up has to do with my hair. a couple months before going to tanzania, i cut my hair shorter than it ever had been for no particular reason. right now however, its even shorter (this time cut for a reason). while your hair doesn't change who you are, when you look in the mirror, you don't necessarily recognize yourself if you drastically change the way you look. the last month or two, i have been thinking a lot about who i am and how i define myself because the reflection in the mirror is so different. my sense of self as a woman, an athlete and an engineer (among other things) have become stronger.

when i was in college and injured, i realized that i had always defined myself as a runner. everyone knew that i ran, and i think that people who know me well now would also describe me as that. however, when i couldn't run, i felt a bit lost, and i struggled to figure out who i was if i was not a runner. ultimately, i was able to run again, but my relationship with the sport has changed. i feel like every time i get to go is a gift, and it makes me happy that i have another opportunity to do it. the same i think might be said for being an 'engineer.' i didn't really understand that adjective until i stopped studying engineering for a time and came back to it. i like finding solutions.

the other experience, which is actually a recurring experience, of perceiving the beauty around me was living in hawaii. even after living there for years, i'd still get up in the morning and be in awe of the mountains and the ocean. i wouldn't say i wake up every morning like that in austin, but there have been several times here where i have been caught off guard by how pretty it is. i am excited for fall and the changing of the leaves. though honestly, i'm more excited to be in hawaii in a few weeks.

returning to the belief that things happen for a reason, i'm not sure i would have appreciated brida if i had read it a few months ago. aside from discussing relationships with one's surroundings, it talks about relationships with people, and i think i needed to hear what the book had to say. i will leave it to you to read the book and find out what i'm talking about though so i don't spoil anything. in the end, the book spoke to me about things i needed to hear at this particular point in my life.

i have woken up the past couple days before my alarm clock. i think i'm finally starting to be rested. my swim felt great yesterday morning and my runs the last three days have felt great. i went running last night with my mp3 player (not something i make a habit of running with). if you've never run listening to enya, i suggest trying it. its weird. i didn't do it intentionally, but when it came on it felt odd to be running to something that would normally make me mellow. this weekend i'll be doing my long run tomorrow before my house work day, and then barring problems with the weather, i'm going to do a long brick on sunday morning. the latter in particular i am really looking forward to.

i heart tea

ironically i don't really drink it that much...except for this summer, when i went on tea overload. i am currently enjoying my second cup since getting back to austin, and i have to say, it tastes fantastic.

i'm not sure how it happened exactly, but i think staying out too late combined with a busy schedule this weekend broke down my immune system a tad. i was exhausted yesterday and felt like i was dragging through my three (yes, three) mile run. i was in bed before 10p last night and my throat was raw and aching. it felt a little better this morning, but i still feel a bit off...which is why the tea tastes so good. it feels great on the back of my throat and generally just provides that much needed ounce of comfort when you're feeling under the weather. the upside to this is that i still more or less have my voice.

last night while waiting for my laundry to finish, i started reading the kite runner. i have heard good things, but i'll let you know what i think. this single act of being able to read a book has me thinking: what exactly is balance? i would say that my life right now has all the components that i would normally need for it to be considered balanced, and yet it doesn't feel quite right. similarly, there have been times when i am wholely focused on one or two things and that feels "balanced." Maybe we're always in a state of unbalance?

Part of my lab when I was in Hawaii focused on time series analysis of the biology, chemistry and physics of a point (Stn. ALOHA) in the Pacific Ocean. For a long time, the theory behind sampling at Stn. ALOHA was that the biology, chemistry and physics observed at this one point were representative of the entire North Pacific Subtropical Gyre (basically the entire North Pacific rotates in a giant clockwise circle). Within the last few years though, there has been a shift in what people are thinking. They are realizing that the North Pacific is not homogeneous and that Stn. ALOHA is not necessarily representative of the entire North Pacific at any one instant in time. Stn. ALOHA is changing constantly and can be subtly or substantially different from one day to the next depending on what else is going on locally (ex. the passage of eddies). It can also vary annually.

My current theory is that we, or at least I, are/am the same way. I suppose there is never any real balance. Rather its how much you are enjoying the lack of balance that makes you happy or stressed out or somewhere in between.

On a somewhat related note, my advisor from my master's thesis Dave Karl has been featured recently on the Discovery Channel (among other venues) in part of a series looking at how scientists are tackling the problem of global warming. You know what the theory behind the stuff he's doing is? The first paper I published in oceanography (aka the first half of my master's thesis). I am really excited for him (and the lab in general), and I look forward to seeing the results of the experiments carried out on a larger scale.

In the meantime, I think I'm having another one of those existential 'why am I here still in school?' crises. I suspect it has something to do with lack of sleep and not feeling well, but honestly, when I stop and think about it, I don't really know what I want to do. I know basically two things: I like to watch people move and I like the ocean (not necessarily in that order depending on what's going on in my life). But I'm not really sure what to do with these two things that I know!

our greatest challenges

i get somewhat regular mail from MIT requesting donations. the most recent request came with a small booklet. on the inside cover, there is a quote that reads "we came to MIT because we believe creativity is as essential as knowledge, passion is the key to progress, and our greatest challenges are also our greatest opportunities." i tore off the page and added it to my bulletin board after underlining the last bit about our greatest challenges.

we had our "tribute" dinner last night for texas 4000. it was a formal dinner held at the four seasons to celebrate the ride, the fifth year of the organization and, as always, to fundraise. the tribute also marks the end of the 2008 ride. yes, that's right, it's done. i don't have any more responsibilities to texas 4000 (i'll still be helping out regularly, but i digress). i met a lot of the riders' families last night, and the most frequent question i was asked was whether or not i had fun.

i was pretty wound up when i got back to austin, as i previously mentioned. with all the sleep i've gotten in the past week or so though, i've started to feel human again, and this has made it much easier to answer to the question about whether or not i had fun. i generally avoid answering the question directly though. instead, i have told people that it was a great experience. it really challenged me, and i think i learned a lot. as i read the above quote earlier today and reflected on all the people i have gotten to meet through the organization though, i realized how true the quote is. this summer was definitely a great opportunity, but when i started, i didn't quite expect the "great challenge" that came along with it. past ride directors told me before we left that there was no way to plan for the challenges i would face, and to a large degree, i agree. i'm not sure what i could have done to prepare myself for some of the challenges. at the same time though, i think that's where you are really tested--how do you respond when you have to take you're limited previous experience and use it to solve some new problem.

several riders have commented about feeling a little bit lost since finishing the ride. its weird not to be doing something for other people or to be around other people. while its been tiring jumping right back into school, i'm glad to be doing it. i don't know what i'd do if i wasn't in school. i was talking to my mom earlier today and we were joking about how much schooling i have had. i stopped at one point though and said that i couldn't imagine not doing it. i may have said it before, but i think i'm terrified of the real world which is why i have been in school as long as i have. school is kind of a safety net i suppose. that said, it has been a safety net that has allowed me to explore so many things and given me incredible opportunities to meet people, travel, publish and even ride my bike across the country while most people my age have real jobs, mortgages and are thinking about marriage and kids (not that i'm that old, but you get the idea). i think the most interesting professors i have met have all sorts of crazy stories about places they have been and things they have seen or done. maybe academia makes you become a peter pan of sorts.

on a completely different note, i got to bond with my tri bike for several hours yesterday morning. a friend and i went out and rode the half-IM course (plus some) so that i could see what the roads were like. well, they're pretty crappy, and while most of the course is rolling hills in the first part and flat for the second, there is an enormous hill at mile 55. ouch. the run course is two loops with half of the course on dirt road/path and grass with no shade and the other half on exposed, newly paved road with no shade. if the heat stays as intense as it has been, this course is going to be brutal. that aside, the ride yesterday morning was fabulous. while we didn't hammer we were cruising at decent clip and it just felt great. i had 2.5 bottles of gatorade, a granola bar and some water to fuel a 4.5 hour ride, which isn't much in the greater scheme of things, but i really wanted to go for a run when we got done. unfortunately i had to run off to a meeting, but it was nice to feel energized again by a good ride.

my run this morning left something to be desired, though i got it done. i went out for an easy 13-miler and started around 10a in an effort to get used to running in the heat of the day. though in good spirits, i don't think i was moving at a particularly fast pace by the end! this race is going to need to involve massive quantities of fluid to fight this. exactly four weeks to go!

short showers?

let's be honest. i'm not that tall. at 5'8'', i don't really tower over anyone, yet i have to duck to get under the showers in the women's locker room at gregory gym (the gym/rec center at ut austin). the facility is relatively new, so its not like i'm trying to squeeze into an ancient facility built during a time when people were short. i don't get it.

but i digress. i'm swimming again, which is why i was at gregory gym in the first place. it is amazing how quickly the feel of the water comes back to you. its also amazing how an action so subtle can make you remember why you do what you do. how you move your hand through the water can make you fast or slow. how you position your body in the water can do the same. and those were the things i was thinking about while i was swimming...i love thinking about that kind of thing. its silly, but the subtle movements we make can have such a huge impact on how fast or slow we are and whether or not we get injured.

really, one of the best things about what i do is that i get to watch people move. it fascinates me...and it's not work. marathons are like christmas. people running in all sorts of weird ways, and yet they're all functional enough to get the person across the finish line. one of the questions that i think about that most though is what makes someone able to keep doing a certain activity for years and years. part of it is mental and shear enjoyment. i thoroughly believe if you want to do something you will find a way to do it or at least be involved. i met a guy this summer who had had most of the major joints in his body replaced at least once...and he was only a couple years older than me. all the cancer treatments he'd been through had caused this to happen. at one point, he had to stop playing soccer. he started coaching, and if i remember correctly, had been coaching for 11 years. people like that inspire me.

i rode this morning. it was the first time i'd gone out for a workout on the bike since the ride this summer (that ended ~3 weeks ago). i headed out to shoal creek and did intervals for a couple hours. i haven't done intervals on a bike in i don't know how long. it felt great. it is amazing how good riding feels when your legs don't feel like crap. it's also amazing how great my tri bike feels. maybe you have to ride a lot to know how different bikes feel. when i got my tri bike a couple years ago, the people at the shop told me to ease into riding in aero to get used to the new geometry. i went out and did a 60 or so mile ride the next day and only got out of aero when i had to stop at lights. i love the fit of it, and have been fortunate in that i've never had low back problems from my position.

this weekend i'm going to ride the half-ironman course with a friend. apparently the bike course is a bit hilly. i still don't know what that means here though because austin tends to be these short, steep hills as opposed to long gradual ones. a few of us are trying to start doing lost creek repeats more regularly, but we still seem to be unable to get ourselves up early enough to get a decent workout in before class. lame, i know. i'm working on it.

they did let me pass my proficiency exam, so i finally figured out what classes i'm in this semester. that was a bit of weight taken off my shoulders. after this term, i will just have one course left for my phd. however, there may still be more classes in my future. i had a meeting this afternoon with the director of the athletic training program here to see if it would be possible for me to get athletic training certification while doing my phd. it would mean two or three classes a semester for the rest of the time i'm here, and a lot of hours in the training room. the program director thinks its feasible though. i have to look into logistics a little more closely though and talk to the folks in grad division because basically it would mean me graduating from ut with a bachelor's (in athletic training) and a phd (in bme) at the same time. the work would be complimentary though given that all my research is in biomechanics. it takes about three years to do all the stuff for athletic training simply because of the sequence of courses and clinic stuff, so i think i'm going to start doing the directed observation program this semester just to check it out. the program director approved. so we'll see what happened. i will keep you all posted.

you know it is hot when...

the (not fat) cat can't even make it up the stairs. yes, that's right, our house cat beauty was sleeping on the third step this evening when i got home from class. i am loving it.

i was not loving it yesterday though. my roommates set off fireworks at 2:40a yesterday (i have no idea why). one hour later, i got out of bed, threw on my clothes and hopped on my bike. i spent about seven hours yesterday morning volunteering in the transition area at the austin triathlon. though i was loving being around triathletes, after all those hours of standing in the sun, i was ready to take a seat. at some point during those hours, i also remembered a pearl of wisdom ben's new coach shared: recovery means recovery. recovery does not mean that one just doesn't do a workout. recovery means that you really don't do anything except keep your feet up, eat, drink and recover. i probably should have thought about that a little bit more and had today as my recovery day instead. oh well.

my alarm went off at 6a this morning as i had been planning to bond with my tri bike by doing some early morning intervals. unfortunately, however, it was dark outside, so i went back to sleep for an hour. i then got up and got ready to go out, but decided to check my email first to confirm that my lab meeting wasn't until 10a. it turned out my lab meeting was at 9a, so i went running. tomorrow, i think i'm going to be in the pool and on the roads running again in the morning followed by an afternoon easy bike (?). i'm working on a training schedule for myself, but i think i'm still very much in the midst of getting back into the swing of things in austin. i'm still having to do orientation type stuff for the university...and it appears that i may have some new responsibility in my life...

yes, i'm getting an undergrad. i suppose that makes it sound like i'm getting a new pet or something, but that's not exactly right. in the greater scheme of lab hierarchy, you have professors, post docs, grad students (phd students then master's students) and undergrads--the latter being the lowest rung of the ladder. the biomedical engineering (bme) undergrads are required to do a research project as part of their degree requirements, so every semester we have a couple undergrads who come work in our lab. generally they work with a grad student who has an ongoing research project which has some component to it that the undergrad could finish in a semester. my undergrad will be helping me set up and test the new camera system. i had the opportunity to start looking through all the components of our new system earlier today and it has a few extra bells and whistles i wasn't expecting, which is exciting.

i keep getting asked how school is going so far, so i will would like to take a moment to be frank about it. i still don't know how i did on one of the placement tests i had to take when i got back, so i don't know if i can even take one of the classes for which i'm currently registered. i have about zero desire to do any sort of homework at the moment, and i definitely took my advisor up on the offer (which i didn't ask for) to turn in my problem set for his class late. i have been sleeping 9 or 10 hours a night, which is almost twice as much sleep as i'm used to during the term, but which still doesn't seem to feel like enough. i have cried the last couple nights with frustration over my relationship, which ended less than a month ago, but which i've only been able to emotionally deal with since getting back to austin when i didn't have to see said other half everyday. so honestly, the last week back has been kind of rough. i have been seeking solace in the little things: running, swimming, heat and talking to my housemates and other friends i haven't seen in the past few months. i am looking forward to the half-ironman and going to hawaii in october, going to san francisco in november and running the dallas marathon in december.

one of the last days i was in anchorage, i went to a flea market and happened upon a piece of artwork by a local artist. i don't really buy souvenirs, but this seemed oddly appropriate. on a background of various shades of blue was the following quote by isak dinesen:

the cure for anything is saltwater. sweat, tears or the sea.