optimism

if you don't like hearing about the bike ride last summer, i suggest you not read this post.

i've recently arrived at the conclusion that optimism is a funny thing. i was pretty upset. no, that's a lie. i was very upset by the end of last summer, and people told me to give it a few months and that i would start to look back on it fondly. i was optimistic that that would happen. well, its been 9 months, and i can assure you that i look back on it with even less fondness than i used to. i ran into someone the other day for the first time since the summer and 48 hours later cried myself to sleep...again. i'm not going to lie, this sort of reaction to seeing people i spent so much time with upsets me. for the record, yes, the more time you put into something, the more you can get out of it. the part people seem to leave out of that though is that the more time you put into something, the more you can also be hurt by it. i'm still optimistic that after a few years have gone by i may look back on the whole experience in at least a slightly more positive light.

in the meantime though, i will continue to appreciate that the big guy upstairs has a sense of humor even if it takes me awhile to get the jokes.