on the road again

it is the morning of day 3 of the roadtrip back to texas. in theory we should have left edmonton early this morning and be headed towards salt lake city tonight. instead, we are hanging out in fort st. john, bc, because one of our vans has decided to make start making strange noises. we're having a gmc dealership look at it this morning, so keep your fingers crossed.

we left anchorage a little later than we thought we would, and after that, it was just slow moving on the roads. we decided that instead of stopping that first night we'd just drive through the night so that we could actually be to edmonton last night. although the mileage we had planned for the first couple days of the trip was aggressive, it wasn't unfeasible. or so we thought. it turned out that the roads were curvy, dusty and in several places have had pilot cars through construction. the scenery has generally been gorgeous though (aside from the very overcast the first day and night). yesterday i felt like i was driving through a game park at one point. i saw a huge heard of bison with a lot of babies. i saw lots of reindeer including one male with very long antlers. i almost hit several of them actually because you'd be driving by (slower than you had been going before) and at the last second they'd jump into the road in front of you. fortunately, no one (reindeer included) were injured. i also saw a porcupine.

late last evening i finished my second book since finishing the ride. the first book was called refuge by terry tempest williams. the second book was mountains beyond mountains by tracy kidder. both of these books i picked out somewhat randomly at the bookstore, but ironically, they have both been stories i needed to hear. both are nonfiction and the people whose lives they depict both had something i needed to hear. what interested me about the first book was that williams is a married mormon woman with no kids (by choice) and (what sounds to me) a great career. in a culture that encourages having children and being a mom, it was interesting to hear how she "defends" her decision. i loved reading about her passion for what she does (natural scientist, director at the natural history museum in salt lake). the second book, mountain beyond mountains, is about a man named paul farmer who is an md/phd who has done some amazing things in promoting proper healthcare for the poor. though he was born and raised (and received medical training) in the us, he lives primarily in haiti, where he has revolutionized their healthcare system. at least from the description in the book, farmer never went out to change the world necessarily, but he did go out to seek equality in care for the poor of haiti. he started working there when he was in medical school and now runs programs in russia, peru, haiti and roxbury (and i believe a couple other places). i had already been thinking about volunteer work i wanted to do when i got back to texas and had been looking into a few different things, so i wouldn't saw that his book necessarily inspired me to do something. i would say though that it taught me about the potential of just going out and doing something.

farmer also seems to have a view of religion that i find interesting in a scientist. at first it seems he didn't subscribe to anything necessarily though he saw the wisdom in taking care of one's fellow man. but after living in haiti and seeing the importance of religion in the lives of the poor, his opinion seems to have changed. while some people argue it (religion) is a crutch for the weak, farmer seems to have had an epiphany about its importance because it is so important to the poor people with whom he was working. i hadn't really thought about it that way before but i found his perspective (which i know i have done an inadequate job of repeating) to be enlightening.

in any case, both books hit on something i have been thinking about a lot in the last few years, particularly the last year. i enjoy planning things and problem solving, but i think need to get out and just start doing stuff more. i think i get caught up in how things will work out and imagining what the future might be like, when it would really be better to just start doing--whether that be volunteering, doing school work, speaking spanish, running more, or whatever else (regardless of whether it is for the community or selfish purposes). lately, i feel like i have been having a lot of 'aha!' moments where i see how things i have done in the past have gotten me to the place i currently stand (literally and figuratively).

the trip this summer also gave me a lot of time to think about my friends. i have been blessed with a random group of friends from all over the country and from all different backgrounds. i frequently wished i could talk to them when things happened during the trip though for various reasons (lack of phone reception, internet, etc) i didn't. someone i know (who shall remain nameless) is in the habit of telling me i'm weird. this tends to happen everytime i want to read a book or talk about "nerdy" things or when i just want to be by myself (not because i'm sad or angry just because i like being by myself sometimes) or when i ask a question (usually about the basic nature of something). while not said with the intention to be mean, it does make me feel like i'm being made fun of and has definitely left me feeling rather isolated at times. i spent a lot of time in high shcool feeling that way (isolated), and more frequently than i cared to in the last few months, i felt like was back in high school. let's suffice it to say that its really hard on me (i know i shouldn't care what other people saw, blah, blah, blah). one of the great things for me about college was that i was finally in a place where i wasn't ostracized for being me...maybe because everyone else (though we were all very different) also embodied that "weirdness." i didn't go to college with all of the people i cosider my closest friends, but they all seem to value my weirdness. at least in my opinion, they're all "weird" too, which i think is why we're friends. anyhow, the point of this abstract ramble is that i would like to say thank you. thanks to all my friends and family who have been so supportive...even when i say i'm going to do something a little "weird" (ride my bike across the country, leave my phd program, move to hawaii, move to texas, run an ultra, you get the idea). you guys make feel normal and remind me that anything is possible. i really value having you in my life.

enough cheesiness for now, i've got to a roadtrip to finish. with the current delay it is looking like we might not have time to make it to zion np, but stay tuned!